So it looks as though things may be moving forward even in the forward direction I want. Yes I long for Gods will in this life. I am obviously lost especially after the roller coaster ride I have been on for the last 2 years.
Dr visit went well, I had lost a few more lbs and the Dr was pleased with that progress. So fertility drugs to help jump start ovulation. Praying. Its been over a yr now since I lost my little girl. I have good days and bad days.
Some days I get mad and want to smack the person next to me who cries at the beginning of Disney's TARZAN movie, ""Its so sad when the mother gorilla has to go on without her baby gorilla"" says a coworker of mine.... REALLY!! Its sad. TRY LIVING IT!! I say none of these things I have become slightly better at holding it together. Other days I dont hold it in so well. My sister mentions the trauma our niece went through the first few weeks of her life. I am so thankful my niece is here, but she is HERE, right? she is alive and God answered those prayers and let us keep her & love on this amazing little girl. So I say "she is alive right?" to my sister. she walks away. Ok so some days I dont do so well at holding it all together. I apologize.
I was promoted at work, that should give me some new challenges and help me stop focusing on my body and the fact it fails me so often. I am excited to be moving up, and have a little more flexible schedule, possibly even be home for dinner a few nights a week!! Excited for the raise and the fact James and I have made some dents in our debt.
Looking forward to the future. I continue to say this is MY year. I have done a good job losing weight and keeping it off, I am going to continue to do this, slowly, but surely!! Promotion at work! And now some fertility drugs. Hoping and praying for the future.
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