So woke up and went to church and I prayed and cried through church... I just kept thinking My Lord my savior will come down and rescue me from this fate. He saved me through this first trimester of this pregnancy, HE will do it again... and yet I continued to struggle and I remember breaking down and sobbing, just sobbing in the middle of church and trying to expain to people why I was acting so weird. I kept praying for a miracle and yet I was preparing for the worst.
Later that day we went to Christmas get together at my mom and dads house. I remember feeling so loved by my family, they laid hands on me and prayed for me, and I again sobbed. I had an ok Christmas with my family, but in the back of my mind I continued to pray and hope for a miracle for my baby.
I was still off work as well, and I remember not caring about my job anymore, not caring about finances, not caring about almost anything.... here I was facing the death of my unborn child and little mattered to me in those days.... the uncertainty of it all, the not knowing. The praying, the wishing, the hoping for a miracle.
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