deleting?

Thinking about deleting my Facebook account, apparently my friends on FB think I have been wallowing in my daughters death. Nice huh. Maybe I am, maybe I just need better support around me. Telling me to get over it sure is good therapy. Right? sure has been helpful. Maybe you should walk along side me when I have those bad days and help point out the good days. My bad days haunt me. It isnt like I have had an easy peasy life. I have baggage which doesn't help.but I am trying, except I post/blog only on my bad days.

so thinking, maybe i do post negative too much on FB. Maybe it has become an outlet for me. Where I want friends and family to know how much pain I am in. Maybe. Maybe cause I dont know how to move forward. Is moving forward mean I am suppose to forget my baby girl? I hurt, daily, and have reminders daily of my baby girl.

but apparently there is some sort of "time table for grieving mothers" that I have never been shown.And apparently I am wallowing. I am unsure of this. Its only been 7 months. My friends and family members have their babies, they are raising their infants. Mine is not here. I dont get to see her, hold her, nurse her, watch her, care for her, bathe her, rock her, dress her...... I hurt so much and grieve over my loss. I have a beautiful crib in  storage and other baby misc stuff in storage.

Praying for comfort, for peace. I know my baby girl is in Heaven I rejoice for her. She will never know the pain of life other than her short time in the uterus... she never grows old, never hurts, never ever feels any pain.... however along with the pain in life comes the amazing moment in life. Like when your child smiles for the first time. and your heart swells in excitement. I will never know that. So many firsts that I grieve over.

So anyway I must be wallowing, all my friends think so, you know all those friends who have never buried their child......