Most nights I cant sleep, or I cry myself to sleep.... I think about my baby girl and how different my life would be with her in it. I know she is in heaven and cant wait for the day to hold her again, but I cant get over my loss. People around me have their babies. About a dozen people I know all had their babies within the last yr and they all have their babies. My baby is in heaven. Its only been 6 months. I still hurt.
Honestly I thought by now I would have gotten pregnant (not that my children are replaceable or interchangeable) but figured that getting pregnant would give me something to focus on and would help with my healing. Having a successful pregnancy would ease my mind and remind me that it wasn't my fault, would help me realize that I am not being punished for some sins or some wrong doing.
But here I am 6 months later, not pregnant and frustrated with life.
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