new adventures

We are waiting. waiting to get pregnant, waiting for good jobs, waiting for opportunities to move. Waiting. I am not a patient person. However my husband is amazingly patient, and almost has a laid back approach to everything. He rarely gets upset and rarely rushes. And he doesn't mind waiting. He definitely is more patient than I am.

I want things to happen now.

I dont like that I am not pregnant yet. I was hoping to get pregnant a few months after losing our baby girl. Hasn't happened yet. I get tired of counting days, doing period math, checking for ovulation signs, taking those ovulation tests and having intercourse like it is a chore. However I want to get pregnant. but I am not patient, I continue to hope it happens every month and every month when my period comes I am devastated.

I am not a hundred percent sold on my new job, I dont like that. I would like to go back to school, but you cant go today or tomorrow you have to wait and save up money and pay off debt before you go back to college.  I would also love to find a better job, I have been applying for the last few weeks, but haven't heard anything. I am not patient.

I am ready for things to change, change I can control though. Last year I didn't have a chance to have control. I couldn't control what happened to my baby girl, I couldn't control breaking my tail bone. So some good change would be nice.

I believe in free will, I do. God has given us free will, choices we are allowed to make, changes we are allowed to do - all within his Holy and Perfect Will. Praying some of these changes are in His will and that HE will lead us where we are to go.