D&C

I have a D&C scheduled for tomorrow morning @ 7 am. joy joy joy. Its a friday, my last D&C was a friday. My D&C are exactly 33 weeks apart. 33 weeks. Thats all. there are 52 weeks in a yr. My last 2 pregnancies have not been successful. I had my baby girl Lillian, she had already gone to heaven somewhere around week 18 and I delivered her at almost 20 weeks. and now at 7 weeks I am miscarrying, however I am not passing everything on my own. so now a D&C.

I want to mourn, I want to grieve, I want to cry, I have cried. I just dont want to end up in that pit again. I started counseling again. My first counselor I didn't feel very fond of, she gave me this "bad things happen to everyone" speech. I understood bad things happen to everyone, really i do, but that didn't help me handle my loss well, didn't help me grieve.  Didn't help me heal.

So the counselor i am seeing now is a christian company and the lady is a christian herself. Was nice, I went in and unloaded everything i could. Then we did talk about our savior and God and how satan is on the Earth, running rampant. People dont like to think he is, but he is.

Sad, hurt, but healing. I know I can get pregnant again. I mean I have had 2 pregnancy losses in less than a yr. This is probably the most fertile I have ever been. I will keep trying. I want to do Gods will, want to go where HE wants me to go. So I seek refuge in my Savior.